|Dear M[s]. Hirji,|
I commend you for having the heart to think about those who are disadvantaged in our society.
Unfortunately, your pity, just like that of so many others, is ill placed. The women's shelter movement has only one aim: to create false statistics about male violence in order to advance the goal of feminism, which, according to their spokespersons, is an off-shoot of Marxism. Thus, they not only create fear and destroy families, they also incite the violence that they profess to prevent. Thus they are the biggest scourge of our age.
Yes, we need shelters for the most unfortunate, be they then children, women or men.
The fact that women, not men, are the perpetrators of most child abuse, often such horrific kind as what little Randal Dooley suffered in the hands of his stepmother, or little Matthew Vaudreuil in the hands of his mother.
Statistics also show that the safest place for a child is the home of its
For several years now I have devoted my life to study and write about this subject. As more families are victimized, more women are also victimized by those who profess to act on our behalf.
Our family, including myself, a woman, and my little granddaughter, has been destroyed in a most cruel manner by the advocacy movement. Even my ex-daughter-in-law, who instead of getting a friendly divorce and the support of our family after she decided that my son was not kind of man she wanted to stay married to, eventually became the victim of the advocacy movement to which she was introduced by her lawyer. We all are now bankrupt, emotionally, physically, and financially.
The Chairman of DACOWITS, Vickie McCall, summed it all up when she told the U.S. Air Forces in Europe News Service:
"You have to understand. We dont report facts, we report perception" [In: "Booby Traps at the Pentagon." Independent Womens Forum, winter 2002] http://www.iwf.org/pubs/twq/Winter2002b.shtml
The British feminists had earlier asked the profound question:
"What is valid knowledge? Is objectivity an attainable or even desirable value? Can knowledge generated from politically oriented (feminist) inquiry be considered valid? Should feminists try to build up neutral, value- free knowledge about women's experiences and about the world, or should we instead, as McLennan (1995: p. 392) suggests, 'openly abandon the quest for better "neutral" knowledge, replacing it with a clear emancipatory commitment to knowledge from the standpoint of women's experience and feminist theory'?"
"Feminist standpoint theory (FS) draws on Marxist ideas about the role of the proletariat to suggest that women, as an oppressed class, have the ability not only to frame their own experiences of oppression but to see the oppressors - and therefore the world in general - more clearly." PUWAR, N. (1997) 'Reflections on Interviewing Women MPs'. Sociological Research Online, vol. 2, no. 1, http://www.socre sonline.org.uk/socresonline/2/1/4.html
Prof. Nicholas Bala, Queen's University, Kingston, Ont. is a feminist apologist with impeccable credentials. Yet he, also, has to admit that most allegations about abuse made during separation and divorce by women are false:
"One hundred and ninety-six cases were identified. Of these, a judicial finding on the balance of probabilities (the civil standard) that abuse occurred was made in 46 cases (23%). In 89 cases (45%) the judge made a finding that the allegation was unfounded, while in 61 cases (35%) there was evidence of abuse but no judicial finding that abuse occurred. In 45 of the 150 cases (30%) where abuse was not proven, the judge believed that it was an intentionally false allegation. ... About 71% of the allegations were made by mothers (64% custodial and 6% non-custodial), 17% were by fathers (6% custodial and 11% non-custodial), 2% were from grandparents or foster parents. In about 9% of the cases the child was the prime instigator of the allegations. This study found that fathers were most likely to be accused* of abuse (74%), followed by mothers (13%), mother's boyfriend or stepfather (7%), grandparent (3%) and other relatives, including siblings (3%)." http://www.familylawcentre.com/ccbalaabusetoc.html
*Note: Statistics Canada uses this and says that 74% of the abusers are fathers. An accusation does not make a finding, as is shown by the raw data.
Considering that only six or seven percent of all non-custodial parents are mothers, the number of non-custodial mothers is striking. When, during the trial, it was found that my ex-daughter-in-law had lied about everything, even about her own mother being alive and well, though she had died while the daughter was very young, the psychiatrist who did the tainted child custody and access evaluation explained that she was not dishonest, she only distorted facts.
She eventually retained sole custody, though she had absconded with the children and was in contempt of court, and though even the FCC psychiatrist expressed doubts about her mental health. Her mother had been a schizophrenic, her only full sister suffers from debilitating bi-polar disorder.
The judges at the Ontario Appeal Court used the report by the Ottawa FCC assessor and declared that because of the alleged father's alcoholism and the mother's mobility rights, it was in the best interest of the children not to disturb the status quo. They never saw the children who they declared to be well adjusted. The children had been evaluated four years earlier, soon after the father was expelled by an ex-parte order from their lives. They were four years and two and a half years old at that time. Suffice to say that they are deeply troubled and scared for life, having lost the only caring parent in their lives. The judges at the Appeal Court were aware that the FCC psychiatrist had to admit that:
the wife, not the husband, was the violent one in the relationship, as per his own evaluation, that the husband would rather flee than fight;
that the father, not the mother, was the better parent, as per his own evaluation as the wife was incapable of any empathy towards others and the father was warm and caring;
that the wife had lied to him, the police, the social workers, the judges;
that his diagnosis of the husband's alcoholism was based on the wife's allegation only and was false;
that he was not qualified to make a diagnosis in addictions;
that, during the trial, he accepted the diagnosis done by the medical officer who is responsible for the training of Ontario doctors in addictions, and who is an internationally accredited expert in the field, and who testified that the husband was not an alcoholic;
How is it possible, you ask? The same way as it is possible for you to believe the "statistics" that you quote. Statistics that equate letter reading [as per Community Legal Education Ontario (CLEO)] and name calling [Statistics Canada in VAWS] with violence against women.
Education Wife Assault addresses women and men in a different questionnaire, as demanded by the Department of Justice Canada directives:
"Do you feel that there is something wrong with your relationship (mate or life) but cannot put your finger on it? Know that emotional abuse may lead to physical abuse or even murder" http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/emotional_abuse.html
The questions about being victimized are addressed to heterosexual women, the questions about being abusive are addressed to men, without the "heterosexual" qualifier. Education Wife Assault. "Emotional Abuse. Are You Emotionally Abusive? Questions for Men to Ask Themselves" http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/questions_for_men.html
Education Wife Assault http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/about_us.html claims that it is responsible to training the judiciary, among others:
"In partnership with the Roeher Institute and funded by the Ministry of Citizenship, Culture and Recreation, EWA developed and implemented training and information sessions on Women with Disabilities, Deaf Women and the Domestic Violence Courts to Crown Attorneys, Police, Victim/Witness Assistance Programme Staff, Judges, community agencies and disability organizations working with women with disabilities who are victims of domestic violence. Activities included developing a participants manual, facilitators manual and training plan, a "tool kit" for participants and a province-wide directory of services across Ontario"
Lenore Walker, the mother of the "Battered Woman Defence" describes the case of a woman who admits physically attacking her husband:
there is no doubt that she began to assault Paul physically, before he assaulted her. However, it is also clear from the rest of her story that Paul had been battering her by ignoring her and by working late
You can find more of what I have to say on the subject at http://fathersforlife.org/Sodhi/toc.htm
Read also: http://www.mensnewsdaily.com/stories/tremoglie061302.htm
We can never stop all violence, no matter who perpetrates it. But we can stop the spread of false allegations which are the leading cause.