|From: R&E Sodhi [firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Sat 2002-08-17 07:28
To: Cauchon.M@parl.gc.ca; Bradshaw.C@parl.gc.ca; email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org;
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Cc: firstname.lastname@example.org; Walter Schneider
To whom it may concern,
Somewhat the idea of the Shelternet Webpage defies logic, unless the sole purpose is to
have yet another propaganda site created at the expense of the Canadian taxpayers who are
told that there is not enough money for healthcare and education.
Shelters are for emergency use only. Anyone who has the time
and skills to access the Internet has the time and skills to dial 911, if in an urban
setting, or the local police department, if a rural resident, which they have do in
any case if they are being assaulted. In every emergency the police are the means of
transportation that the alleged victim may need.
Furthermore, the police directives in regard to wife assault, as opposed to other
family disturbances, mandate that the male partner is to be
removed from the residence, no other proof needed than a woman's word, thus making it
unnecessary for a woman to be taken to a shelter, and thus making the entire concept of a
women's shelter obsolete.
The following example of a personal experience illustrates how the government
creates the myths that lead to family destruction:
A few weeks ago I was approached by a woman whom I barely knew, having casually met her
a few times outside my home. She told how she had gone to her doctor, having felt tired.
The doctor, according to the directives by Health Canada, quizzed her about possible abuse
and gave her a booklet about DV.
This simple woman, half of my age, came to the conclusion that she was being
subjected to financial and emotional abuse by her partner, whom I used to know well. She
told that he was not physically abusive, only emotionally and financially, as she
discovered from the booklet given to her. She told that she did not even know what abuse
was before she read about it. Amazingly, that is the phrase that I hear over and over. If
anything, that concept is demeaning to all woman, as it clearly implies that we are
somewhat intellectually challenged, while at the same time being told that we are capable
of being the CEOs of major companies without any other qualifications but our hormones.
The facts in my narrative are as follows:
The man is a proud, hard working low income earner, a working poor in the true sense of
the word. He is a strict practising Buddhist who leads an ascetic lifestyle. According to
the woman herself he does not impose his standards on her or on her teenage daughter,
allowing them to live by their own standards which includes eating meat, consuming alcohol
and smoking. He himself does not even eat eggs as those are animal products. I know from
personal experience that he does not even kill a mosquito but carries it outside if one
happens to get into his house. He eats one vegan meal a day, costing pennies as he grows
most of his own produce.
The woman is about twenty years his junior, an unemployed single mother who moved into
his house several years ago. She tells that she is not interested in finding employment.
She is a heavy smoker.
Gradually she has accumulated ten large dogs, huskies, as she wants to do dog-sledding.
Feeding those animals, as well as her cat and the various large birds that she keeps, must
cost a fortune. He does not complain, though she tells that her neighbours wonder how she
can afford to keep them, well knowing the expense of even one dog. Not only that, but the
entire neighbourhood is up in arms because of the incessant howling of the dogs all night
long, each night, yet, as rural people, don't feel it right to complain.
For some unexplained reason she came to talk to me in May as she wanted to have her
dogs immunised against Heartworm, leptospirosis and rabies and her partner told her that
he simply did not have the couple of thousand dollars that it would cost. That to her new
found knowledge of DV was financial and emotional abuse. She then went on to lament that
she could not even afford to buy new clothes for herself and her daughter and had to go
and "beg" for money from her daughter's father who is on welfare.
I suggested that she go home and do some simple math, i.e. add up the cost of
running a household that includes ten dogs and various other animals as well as three
humans, and deduct that sum from her partner's net salary. I told that we all have to make
choices in our lives, and that if she wants to keep the dogs, whom he obviously is
struggling to support, she should find a job. Her answer: he
should make choices and give up are you ready for this? his one indulgence:
donuts! When I ventured that maybe she should reciprocate and give up cigarettes and meat,
the conversation ended. There can be little doubt about which partner in that relationship
is being abused. As a result of his inability to meet her deadline and pay for the
vaccinations, their ramshackle home is now for sale, though it is not likely that they
ever will be able to sell it as it is clear that the small piece of land on which the
house stands would be worth more if the house was not there.
She has now decided that I also am an abused woman because she, as per the information
booklet, has come to the conclusion that my husband of forty years is abusive to
"my" dog. As I mentioned above, she has no knowledge of our family life. If she
did, she would see how my husband pampers that dog, cooking his meals, playing ball with
him, taking him to his daily swims in the river or to play with his canine friends.
She has got one thing right, though. I am an abused
woman. My ex-daughter-in-law has destroyed our entire family, including my two small
grandchildren, financially and emotionally. As a result, I myself had breast cancer, known
to be caused by stress, among other things, as well as an astronomically high blood
pressure that led to a recent mini-stroke. She is constantly threatening us all,
though all her allegations were found to be groundless. At the end of the trial
it was concluded that she was "not dishonest" but only "distorted"
facts, such as that her mother was alive and well and that there was no mental illness in
the family though the mother had died as a schizophrenic while the daughter was three
years old and her only full sister is suffers from a debilitating bi-polar disorder. Even
if one would be able to differentiate between "dishonesty" and
"distortion", it is hard to see how one can "distort" if one
tells that her dead mother is alive and well.
Based on the fact that ALL research and statistics, including
those by the most ardent feminist sources, document that mothers, not fathers, are the
main abusers of children, no matter what their excuse (remember: "there is NO
EXCUSE FOR ABUSE") and on my personal experience, I am somewhat
puzzled that, for the sake of accurate portrayal of family violence, I could not find any
drawings on the Shelternet's children's picture gallery by Randall Dooley or Matthew
Vaudreuil or Shanya Johnson or the thousands of others who died such a horrible
death after lifelong abuse at the hands of their mothers or mother substitutes. Then
again, dead children do not make pictures, and one doubts whether they ever were allowed
even while alive.
Those of us who have experienced first hand substantiated abuse by mothers and wives,
including using a motor vehicle or a butcher knife, not to mention a gun, as well as
allegations that later have been proven to be false, find the shameless anti-father
propaganda disturbing at best, dangerous at worst as it leaves children, including my
grandchildren, at the mercy of one abusive parent while effectively removing the
safety-net that is provided by the other parent and his family.
RR 1 McDonald's Corners
Ontario, K0G 1M0