logo for the website of Fathers for Life
Fatherlessness, the lack of natural fathers in children's lives
| Home | In The News | Our Blog | Contact Us | RSS button | Share


Fathers for Life Site-Search

2013 04 15: Symantec (makers and distributors of Norton Antivirus) and O2 now filter/block the website of Fathers for Life and *BOTH* of its affiliated blogs. Click for details.


 
 Site Map (very large file)
 Table of Contents
 Activism
 Children—Our most valued assets?
 Educating Our Children for the Global Gynarchia
 Child Support
 Civil Rights & Social Issues
 Families
 Family Law
 Destruction of Families
 Fatherhood
 Fatherlessness
 Divorce Issues
 Domestic Violence
 Feminism
 Gay Issues
 Hate, Hoaxes and Propaganda
 Health
 Help Lines for Men
 History
 Humour
 Law, Justice and The Judiciary
 Mail to F4L
 Men's Issues
 Suicide
 The Politics of "Sex"
 Our Most Popular Pages
 Email List
 Links
 References - Bibliography

You are visitor

since June 19, 2001

Be notified of
page updates
it's private
powered by
ChangeDetection

BADGE
 of
RECOGNITION

censored-stamp

Yes, the website for Fathers for Life and its affiliated blog are being slandered and censored. (Click for Details)

If you are a fathers-rights or pro-family activist, then it is quite likely that your website or blog is being, slandered and censored, too. (Click to check that out)

Cover of "Prone to Violence," by Ering Pizzey

After Prone to Violence had been published in 1982, shipped out for distribution and placed on the shelves in the book stores, the redfems so thoroughly pilfered the copies of the book that only 13 copies of the book remained in a few libraries in the whole world.
   As a result of that the publisher went into receivership.  That is an example of the power of feminist censorship in action.
   However, the book is now available on the Internet, and it has been put back into print.

 
 
 
 

Neutralizing Hostility between the Sexes


Solving the Problem of Domestic Violence
with the Bigger Picture

By Kenneth Lynch

Speech presented at

Toronto Mensa's Annual Regional Gathering

Novotel North York Hotel
Saturday, October 19, 2002



Hi, I hope everyone is doing fine today. My name is Kenneth Lynch and I am an expert in martial arts and self-protection as well as trained in mediation/dispute resolution and negotiation. I teach and train both privately and publicly. I have never felt a need to name my system but rather concentrate on its practicality for our everyday lives. I was always in and out of scrapes as a kid, and I started seriously training around the age of ten. That gives me nearly 22 years of experience in martial arts. I have felt that there are many facets to the martial arts that have been left unused. So I have tried to expand the field by developing my own style of martial arts.

Confidence in ourselves should be the ultimate goal, to make each of us independent and strong, courageous enough to meet the world head on and to strive for our heights as individuals, male or female.

Today I intend to cover some sensitive areas, and some people may feel offended or distraught by them. Because of that, I am going to ask that we put our objective hats on, to allow me to finish and to honestly look at the issues rather than the emotions. My intentions are to make some challenging statements against the current norm for ideals.

I am going to speak for about 20 minutes to half an hour. After that, you will have an opportunity to ask questions, and then I will demonstrate the mediation process. In any event, I’m hoping for some crowd participation. And feel free to bring up other areas of related interest not covered in my speech. I want to cover a particular ground-piece that I feel is the central focus that I think will branch off into other areas.

To an individual who teaches and practices Self-Protection it is important to look at all areas of our lives where violence can be found. For spouses and siblings and dating couples, violence can occur and does for many reasons. It is my opinion that violence in the home front happens in large because of coercive tactics. Simply put, people do not know how to negotiate for their own 'wants' and 'needs', as a result, abusive tactics develop

On that note, today I would like to honour one of my favourites, Erin Pizzey, and dedicate this speech to her. I admire Erin Pizzey for her objectivity when it comes to violence in the home and for her constant efforts to search for a solution by looking at the whole picture and not to create a 'blame game'.

Erin Pizzey is accredited with having opened the first modern shelter for abused women and is the founder of the women’s shelter movement.  That was in 1971. She is the author of numerous books, including probably the first book on the subject of domestic violence, Scream Quietly or the Neighbours Will Hear, as well as Prone to Violence, which is now an online book that was originally published in paperback. The paperback is a rare find and, according to some, worth a tremendous amount. To my understanding it is now in reprint.

Erin has been doing her work in the field for over 30 years.

It's funny, you'd think we would be having an Erin Pizzey day, or parades in her honour, even memorabilia or a constant mention of her contribution, on television, radio or newspaper, each time the issue comes up. Hell; even mention her on all those numerous pamphlets that are circulated or on billboards about Domestic Violence that can be seen all across the U.K., Canada the US, right down to Australia and New Zealand.

What she got instead was ostracism and death threats. Erin was cast out of many circles because of her statements. She has been denied web space at nearly every Domestic Violence site there is.

You wouldn't think that people would be burning or trashing her books in every English-speaking country in the world to the point that it has been found that there are only about two known copies of her book Prone to Violence left in Canadian libraries.

How did this pioneer come to deserve such wrath from fellow DV counselors and feminists; what did she do to elicit such hatred? Erin stated that women, too, are abusers, that they are often violent, and not just in self-defense. Studies show that they are equally likely, or even more likely than men, to be the ones who initiate violence – the ones who attack and elicit a self-defense response from their partners.

During Erin's book tour, she had to have armed guards escort her across the U.K. because she was getting bomb threats and death threats everywhere she went. According to her, they were not by men or angry husbands trying to suppress Erin's work. They were in fact by the very counselors and feminists who were screaming the mantra of the day, that men were the sole perpetuators of violence and women the sole victims.

Erin was preaching that some women are prone to violence, that they hungered for it, and that they agitated their spouses for the thrill of it. Erin was pointing out how women were abusive to their own children and how she wanted to work towards a solution to help women, women who needed help to control their violence and anger, women who were addicted to abuse.

Erin's observations are reinforced by every objective data ever accumulated in the last 30 years.

The research team of Richard Gelles, Murray Straus, and Susan Steinmetz, who started their research in the early 70s, provided good examples of unbiased, objective research. Research conducted without a political agenda. The team began its work while labouring under the traditional assumptions about Domestic Violence. They believed that women were the sole victims and that men were the sole victimizers. [1]

Gelles later realized that he had made a giant mistake. Gelles had made a note of a knife attack on a husband by his wife. Gelles had made this as a footnote but not as a primary note in his original research. It was years later that he realized that what he had made an error. The wife had not attacked in 'self-defense' but rather in malice. It boggled his mind that he did not consider a knife attack an act of violence. He realized his perception had been skewed by politically correct assumptions.

The team soon changed its course of research, and now includes female-on-male violence. Ultimately the team came to the conclusion, as Erin Pizzey had on the other side of the Atlantic, that women were contributing to the violence in homes at equal rates, and that women were just as violent as the men they were living with, that the violence was not always in self-defense but the result of a multitude of variables. And they found that men were being injured just as often.

The team so far has conducted research that has been backed by over a hundred studies by objective researchers involving 77 000 participants. Twelve percent of families are forced to deal with this problem. Findings (in narrow estimate) were that it involves about 25% of the time men on women, 25% of the time women on men, and 50% of the time it was a mutual affair, which, in Erin Pizzey's own words, was about the same as the summation of her findings.[2]

In the most recent study by Murray Straus, he concluded from his research that much of the violence between dating couples is an act of coercion, that the perpetrators were trying to get the other person to do something, and that ultimately it was not one sex over the other that was more responsible.[3]

And, just like Pizzey, when the team started including women's violence against men in their research, they also received death threats, bomb threats, and were the victims of libelous personal attacks. In fact, Suzanne Steinmetz had to stop her research because her children were threatened so much she felt she couldn’t risk it. These attacks were not made by angry or insane men, they were made by DV counselors, shelter workers and self-proclaimed feminists of all sorts.[4]

Erin, in her own words, stated that the Domestic Violence shelters were "hijacked" by 'feminists' with a clear-cut anti-male agenda. Erin, in her own admission, did not attempt to discredit this right away; because she feared that federal money would be cut from the services and that all her work would go into retreat.

Erin eventually realized that she could take it no longer as she sat by and witnessed how the shelters became an industry and perpetuator of anti-male indoctrination and propaganda. She describes how the shelters turned into lesbian seduction camps, that women were not getting the help they really needed, and how unreasonable formulations were created out of these institutes. The view that is constantly held is that women are not responsible for any and all of the abuse done to them, that any and all of the abuse that violent women have done towards men and children is not their fault, that they are innately the victims, and that any other way to look at it was to blame the victim.

Erin asserts that women with severe violent tendencies are not getting the proper help and treatment they desperately need, that by not taking responsibility and accountability for their actions the shelters are putting children and men at risk from further abuse as well as the women themselves and thereby not breaking the cycle of violence. For many reasons like this, Erin feels that the domestic violence industry is really just promoting more violence.

Erin makes further accusations against what she calls "an industry". Counselors, lawyers, politicians and professors. Many professions gain from it. The printing industry itself must make an absolute fortune in government and grant money that is used to print pamphlets, among other things.

Erin points out that the industry is desperately trying to get into the rural areas, not to help communities but to destroy families and to create anti-male bias and ultimately hostility between the sexes. Erin makes many harsh remarks about how many of these places are run. Erin even cites a few cases where some lesbian women could not go to a local DV shelter because the women that were abusing them were working there. Routinely seminars are given to judges, jurists, lawyers, police officers, high school teachers and an endless assortment of professionals, and they are all told the same one-sided rhetoric.

The unfairness is established deep in government as Warren Farrell's research[5] points out. He writes:

In Canada, a University of Alberta study found 12 percent of husbands to be victims of violence by their wives and 11 percent of wives to be victims, but only the violence against women was published. Even when Earl Silverman, six years later, was able to get the data from an assistant who had helped prepare the original study, and then wrote it up himself, he was unable to get it published.

Similarly, another major Canadian study of dating couples found 46 percent of women vs. 18 percent of men to be physically violent. You guessed it. The 18 percent male violence was published immediately. Not only was the 46 percent female violence left unpublished, but also the authors did not acknowledge in the Canadian Journal of Sociology that their study had ever included violence against men.

When a Canadian professor found out, he requested to see the data and was refused. It was only when he exposed the refusal in his next book, combined with another three more years of pressure, that the information relating to the 46 percent female violence was released and published. By that time ('97) Canadian policy giving government support for abused women but not abused men had been entrenched, as were the bureaucracies; as were the private funding sources like United Way.

This type of stigma continues even in research regarding sexual harassment in high schools. While the harassment against the girls is being widely publicized, the harassment against boys is completely ignored, despite that the research most commonly cited, 'Hostile Hallways', found that the girls were doing just as much harassing.

Even Mary Koss's research that was highly publicized in Ms. Magazine states that college women were raped at a ratio of 1 in 4. Another woman who is well recognized in the field of sexual assault took it upon herself to do the research in reverse. She asked the 'guys' using the same research model. Just like Mary Koss did for the girls, she too found that men (under those guiding principles) were raped at a ratio of 1 in 4. Kate Fillion cites the work in her book Lip Service.[6] She also points out how Mary Koss, who stated she wanted to do the research to find the unknown amounts of rapes from people who don't talk about it. Mary Koss claimed that she didn't survey men because 'they don't talk about it'. Sort of ironic. But those who did ask the 'guys' like Dr. Charlene Muehlenhard or Mary Craig, co-authors of Sexually Agressive Women,[7] found basically the same outcome for the guys as they did for the girls. Simply put, in my opinion, translating an unwanted attempt at a kiss into a sexual assault stat doesn't serve the truth about rape statistics.

Amber Pawlik is the founder of a women's club at Penn State College, known as the IWC (independent women's club). She describes how the victim mentality is pervasive and that events like 'Take Back The Night' only encourage hatred, to never let the scab heal, that those events and organizations in fact appeal not to the best in women but to the worst. Amber writes:

In order to keep their "cause" going and their numbers high, feminists need to keep women angry. They have a heavy amount invested in angry women. Not just their cause, but certain feminist's careers, tenure, and livelihood are invested in ensuring that women are being oppressed – and that they stay upset over it.

Amber's club focuses on creating an atmosphere of dating and positive imagery for men and women coupled together.

It is not my intention today to demonise women. My intention here was to give a look into what’s going on in the unpopular circuits. Erin Pizzey is the very first woman to open a modern shelter for women, and she has received nothing but ill repute from her adversaries. So far the only real truthful angst against her that I have found is that she is pro-marriage. Erin even advocates that men should most certainly be allowed to work in shelters, that it is the anti-male mantra that is telling victims to hate men in general and not the individuals that have harmed them. Erin indeed had men working with her in her shelters as well as that she advocated for shelters for men.

Erin Pizzey is a woman who should be honoured and remembered for her enduring work, not threatened. She should be remembered by the rationale and the peacemakers of the world, by people who are truly looking for a solution to diminishing violence between married couples.

From a college student's club to scientists' research, we will have to develop studies that produce objective truthful results, not results that have been massaged, formed and chopped, or fabricated altogether, to fit the mould of a political agenda. These new data and the results of previous good, but suppressed research need to be considered in making public policy.

We will have to lower our guard and redevelop trust, to consider concepts like negotiation, forgiveness, compassion, and empathy, making the law a last resort rather than a first option, to work soft on the people and hard on the issues, to open up that path that can lead us as men and women; lovers, and co-authors of our happy fate.

Kenneth Lynch

Write to Kenneth Lynch

______________
References:

  1. The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence: Male Victims; Originally published in The Women's Quarterly, Richard J. Gelles, Ph.D., Joanne and Raymond Welsh, Chair of Child Welfare and Family Violence, School of Social Work University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia

  2. REFERENCES EXAMINING ASSAULTS BY WOMEN ON THEIR SPOUSES OR MALE PARTNERS: AN ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY, by Martin S. Fiebert, Ph.D., Department of Psychology, California State University, Long Beach

  3. UNH study: Men, women equally violent with partners, AP story, Tuesday, July 30, 2002

  4. Redefining Domestic Violence, by Wendy McElroy, Fox News, Tuesday, September 11, 2001

  5. Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, by Warren Farrell, Ph.D. (J. P. Tarcher; ASIN: 087477988X; October 1999, out of print)

  6. Lip Service, by Kate Fillion, (Paperback, Harper Collins Canada; ASIN: 0006386601; First edition January 1997; out of print)

  7. Sexually Aggressive Women : Current Perspectives and Controversies, Edited by Peter Anderson and Cindy Struckman-Johnson, (July 1998, Guilford Publications, ISBN: 1-57230-165-1)


Related article:

Wendy McElroy discusses:

Feminist Urban Legends:

The FOXNews URL is
<http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,69982,00.html>

The ifeminists.com URL is
<http://www.ifeminists.com/introduction/editorials/2002/1112.html>

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

By Wendy McElroy

Advocacy research refers to studies and reports produced by people with a vested interest in reaching a foregone conclusion. Politically correct feminism is notorious for its advocacy research and for the shoddy methodology that often accompanies political bias. (Full Story)

Fox News chose to omit the modifier "feminist" in their title for the article, however, it is a must for anyone to read the article, regardless of what title is chosen for it. The article lists excellent standards that should be applied by the media in choosing articles for publishing, so as to put an end to the promotion of advocacy research, slander and ad-hominem attacks by opponents of the truth.

Back to Index of Family Violence Issues

See also:


White RoseThe White Rose
Thoughts are Free

__________________
Posted 2002 11 08
Updates:
2002 11 13 (inserted Wendy McElroy's article "Feminist Urban Legends".  It deals with the need to put an end to the media's popularizing of gender-biased advocacy research.)
2002 12 22 (format changes)
2013 03 08 (removed reference to dvstats.org -- website no longer functions)