I have attempted to outline the problems and experiences that I
have faced in the UK in as simple a way as possible, all facts can be proven based on
evidence obtained through complaints and using the data protection act, etc.. Sadly, much
of the history came to light after the events, and the present judge refuses to allow the
new evidence to prove the gender bias and lies told in reports.
Most of the public in the UK is unaware of matters as they stand, most
believe that we have a fair system, as I used to believe myself. Indeed, three or even two
years ago I would never have believed the truth. This history may be passed onto other
groups or used on websites, etc.
Because I used to teach science, special-needs- and then emotionally and
behaviourally disturbed children, I have always had an interest in the behaviour of
children.
My problems began after marrying a Spanish woman and after the birth of
our first child (1991).
The resultant process was slow. Only after the birth of the second
child, again a caesarean, did the violence and obscene behaviour begin. Whilst it was
obviously a difficult time for all and even more so for my wife who had been hospitalised
for two months after breaking waters early, it does not explain events thereafter.
Behaviour from April 1994 to January 1998 included closing me in a room,
ordering me out and then demanding I return – back and forth for twenty minutes, with
eyes popping out of her head. I had objects thrown at me, was chased around the garden,
spat at, punched, kicked and scratched. All for no more reason than being present.
During this period, there were problems with missing her mother (whom I
had only met once), and guilt at being in the UK. There were problems with being active,
sleeplessness, allergies including two inch blisters all over the body, low back pain,
migraines and mood swings. A lack of care with the children and impatience and bad temper
with normal children’s behaviour.
It took six weeks to get her to see the GP, who referred to state mental
health team. After being interviewed separately and together, a community psychiatric
nurse diagnosed some features of post-natal depression. The problems according to the
mother had begun after the birth of the first child.
Struggling to look after the wife and children, as she had a short fuse
with them, taking time off work and having my wife ring the school because she could not
cope, I resigned and took her to Spain to help her get better.
Spanish state mental health team diagnosed depressive anxiety, neurotic,
manipulative and somatoform symptoms along with a borderline personality disorder.
Violence against me continued and after 9 months I persuaded her to see a private
psychologist.
After a battery of psychological tests, a diagnosis of emotional
instability: unresolved conflicts with mother/father from childhood abuse and an abusive
relationship with a man 26 years older from the age of 18 to 28.
One night she went for the knife drawer. I cowered in the bathroom as
she was out of control. She caught her head in the door, as there was no way I was going
to let her in. She broke a blood vessel at the side of her head and this caused a black
eye.
She went to Social services and alleged I had hit her, she removed the
children and contact was made difficult. Her brother threatened me with death.
This greatly disturbed the children. Eventually she begged to get back
together and we returned to the UK to escape her dysfunctional family. (Her mother used to
fight with her brother in public, etc.). That period was a nightmare. She called out the
civil guard called out by her against me, and they arrived with machine guns.
There is a lot more detail, but at the time I was trying to get her
support, as any caring partner would. Her behaviour was awful. I still do not understand
why it only happened in the house.
We returned to UK. She got better at first – then more violence,
hatred of me, lack of time for the children etc.
I left on 26th of May 1996, alone, as she had threatened to kill me if I
tried to take the children.
I informed the authorities: the psychiatrist who had – I had
believed – been treating her for the same reasons as in Spain, and Social services.
It took six months to get legal aid. I had regular contact but her
behaviour was horrible when I did not have a witness, e.g. my daughter did not want me to
go, she put her arms around my waist and mother then picks up her back legs and dropped
her on the floor etc.
I had been through three years of psychological and physical abuse. It
sounds funny now, but I had been given 2 packets of rolling tobacco and 4 pounds per week,
after she took away all my money. I used to have my tee shirt checked to see if it was
correct: in or out of my trousers depending on her mood. I cycled to school because I did
not have enough money for the bus!
The Court ordered a report on fitness for residence, having seen her
medical records…fair enough. Her solicitor did not instruct the psychiatrist as the
court had ordered. The clever and deviant solicitors get mother to go to the GP who refers
her for a check up on depression.
The psychiatrist does not see a depressed person. The solicitors then
ask for a letter from the psychiatrist. The Court, the CWO [court welfare officer] and my
solicitor then insist this is a report on fitness for residence and includes emotional
instability, which does not fall under a mental health check in any case!
I complain to my solicitor, he withdraws legal aid based on the
psychiatrist’s letter and on the court welfare officer’s report based on the
psychiatrist’s letter.
I refuse to budge…addendum ordered by the court welfare officer. I
get the evidence to prove that mother was locking my son at age 4 in the bedroom, as the
children had told me. (I taped the boyfriend who admitted the locking-in and pursing of
the children’s lips, etc). According to the court welfare officer the, boyfriend is
the partner. The court welfare officer refuses to listen to the tape. She reports to court
it is appropriate to lock a child in. (Steam coming out of my ears at this stage).
Go to 2 day hearing with no legal knowledge on my own. I had thought
that the court process in family law would involve people being honest under oath! Result,
‘I have no doubt whatsoever you are an abusive husband (based on false allegations by
mother when she had no proof) and wittingly or unwittingly an abusive father- cough, what?
Locking a child in according to my learned friend is appropriate!
Complaints fly off. Social services complaint is passed to the court
welfare officer, who passes to judge and I am dragged to court for contempt. When asked if
I knew what contempt is, I ask the judge if he has got any problems with the truth….
Laughter in court…. review.
September 23rd 1998 – I offered to withdraw my residence
application in return for child and family guidance, I was not there to be an enemy of the
mother, since the children have two parents even though the mother had abused me
etc…Seemed a good idea at the time.
Walk out of Court thinking I had acted sensibly and would defuse
mother’s hostility. Mother’s promises for phone contact evaporate…I ask for
child and family guidance to the Doctor who refers to social services since the concerns
raised were child protection concerns.
Social services interview the judge and the court welfare officer then
speak to the Doctor, Health Visitor and School…Suddenly, no one has any concerns.
Therefore, 7 months later social services provide an assessment of risk stating that there
are no problems except the father raising concerns.
However, I had been busy battling to get information…When I read
the assessment of risk, I smelt a rat. I Put complaints in and an application to Court for
residence after the behaviour and tales from the children and the evidence that I had that
no one was willing to take into account.
The evidence consisted of tape recordings of the boyfriend/ mother all
backing up the children’s own admittals. I had secretly recorded the children; their
stores were in fact true. Independent witnesses to violence against me in public who made
statements to the police that she looked mad, the children did not want to go with her and
a woman like that should not be with children.
The Police notified social services and now deny being contacted by the
Police despite letters from the Police naming the details of the conversation and the
names of the people spoken to!
I put another application to court in October 1999. The Judge orders the
social worker that was under complaint to carry out an addendum, as I had never been seen
with or without the children, and neither had my evidence been addressed.
I had asked for an independent psychological report as the social worker
was obviously going to be biased since she would have to criticise herself to do an
objective report. As expect the addendum comes out the same as the assessment.
The Judge believed it to be a section-17 report (a child in need); the
social worker recommended no contact with father under oath. The result was a section
91(14) order, no contact direct or indirect and all costs against the father (about ten
thousand pounds). It was all a set-up with collusion between them all.
WARFARE begins in earnest and this is the scary bit: The Health Visitor
notes show 3 years of sleep disturbances in my son, attention seeking behaviour and the
health visitor referred my son to child and family guidance. The Health Visitor and the
child and family guidance team were unaware of mother’s psychological and emotional
history. He had been referred for anxiety to the bedroom, which was wrongly diagnosed as
separation anxiety! Not the effect of being locked in from 2.5 to 5 years of age.
My daughter has had 5+ years of urinary tract infections and daytime
wetting. No physical cause according to the examinations and internal investigations by
the paediatrician who was unaware of my existence for some time.
Quality control/ review person and panel for social services suddenly
admit parts of the locking in/ violence against me witnessed by the children etc. All a
cover-up. The violence does not matter because we no longer live together and the rest is
an invention because they know I have the proof and sent it to them, but it was not in the
social services file or in the assessments!
Turns out the court welfare officer had told social services that the
Health visitor had visited 14 times at my request- crap.
Either social services or the court welfare officer told the GP there
had been no concerns and that I was a danger to the public and deserving of the violence
against me!
The GP has now involved his medical protection society to protect him
and refuses to answer questions.
I even uncovered a fax sent to the Chief Probation officer of Hampshire
from Jo Lock manager for CAFCASS. (The old Family Court Welfare Service renamed as the
Children and Families Advisory and Support Service), stating what to put in response to my
complaint and that the social worker stated I had a mental illness.
Went to the Court of Appeal under the Human Rights Act (HRA), and just
by coincidence was given the judge who was having a protest outside his house two days
later. The result was that in the second minute of the hearing I was told you have lost
your appeal, the first sentence on reading the judgement was ‘I do not know whether
there have been any violations of the HRA’.
Whoopee, I do. I could say a lot more, the current situation is that my
daughter (10) still wets herself, has asthma and hay fever, my son has been referred to
child and family guidance for the second time for his behaviour (but school have no
concerns). He has eczema and hearing problems.
I haven’t seen them for two and a half years. I do not know if the
mother is affected by her past problems but my parents saw the children for five days at
Xmas 2000 into January 2001and raised concerns with social services because of the stories
the children told them. The result: social services refuse to investigate and the children
have had no contact with their paternal family at all since then.
The judge refuses to allow the new evidence of the collusion and lies
since he is aware that he is implicated by misleading social services himself and I have
put the proof to his Court (sadly the case is reserved)!
Rather strangely, the police will not look at the evidence of perjury
and perversion of the course of justice, or should I say the same inspector who dealt with
the protests outside the judge’s house. Under the data protection act there is
apparently no information held on this despite the presence of 4 police officers and the
BBC cameras and media contact with the police!
In all the above the mother never made any allegation against me to the
professionals, except in statements to Court and with no evidence!
My personal career is on the slide, I have no moral choice but to stand
up and use my energy and training for the well-being of all children for their futures.
Indeed, my own children have been badly damaged by people who earn their money by making
children cry.
This is a blatant abuse of children’s rights, misuse of section 26
complaint procedures to divert complaints and protect the body involved. The Family law
system has in this case abused justice.
The last time I saw my children was on October 26th 1999, when both
children wanted to live with me, and my daughter begged me to let her stay. Sad to say, I
was a coward and obeyed the law….NO MORE. Justice or bust –
even if it makes the guilty cringe.
I have all the proof for everything I say. Sadly, the system has badly
let my children down.
None but those who've gone through a hell like Shaun's will believe me,
but some of the abuse that Shawn describes matches what I experienced at the hands of my
first wife, right down to having to ride the bicycle to work for 10.5 miles each way.
Over the years I have come to see that such abuse is far, far more common
than most people, by far, believe. We know better. We have had far too many men cry their
hearts out about such things in our kitchen. —WHS
