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The Undertaking-Life -- Studies from the dismal trade by Thomas Lynch


From: Dean Hughson <dean@primenet.com>
Subject: [GEN-M] the death of a marriage as seen by an undertaker
Sender: owner-gen-m@interchg.ubc.ca
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I just read a fantastic book, The Undertaking-Life: Studies from the dismal trade, by Thomas Lynch.   Lynch, a Michigan undertaker is also a poet.

I bought the book originally because it was an essay on life through the eyes of someone who sees death.  It was very highly recommended as a good book in the New york Times book reviews recently.  However, it had a good section on divorce.....

He tells the story of a friend of his who got embroiled in a tough divorce and became conversant in case law and precedent, show-cause, suit and countersuit.  'When he once referred to his sons as "the minor children," I objected.  I could not bear to hear these beautiful boys who had their mother's wisdom and their father's brains, his dark humour and her brown eyes, called anything but precious.  He kept crafting his testimony and his closing arguments for a day in court I told him would never come. The billable hours on both sides were plentiful.
   Once the litigants had spent all they had saved toward the boys' college educations, the attorneys, well paid for the rattling of sabers and the launching of salvos, met over sushi, divided the spoils, and agreed to meet for golf the following weekend, weather and caseloads permitting.
    It was done.
    Good counsel, near as anyone could figure, was unequivocally and irrevocably, finished.'
 

Sometimes it takes someone who is skilled in death, to write about the death of a mariage in an understandable way.  How many of us (myself included) have got lost in the spirit of battle,egged on by our paid warriors, not realizing that at the end of a battle, most battlefields are filled with bodies and no winners.

Dean Hughson

p.s. take my word---the book is worth reading
Dean Hughson, DIVORCE HOMEPAGE  http://hughson.com
  and THE EGGMAN HOMEPAGE http://hughson.com/eggman/
tel 702-360-5419, fax 702-360-5398  dean@primenet.com

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See also:

Feminism For Male College Students — A Short Guide to the Truth, by Angry Harry (Off-Site)

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Updates:
2001 02 11 (format changes)
2006 03 04 (added link to Feminism for Male College Students)