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since June 19, 2001


Domestic Violence Against Men 

Crisis Lines

Thanks to Lindsay Jackel in Australia
Sun, 10 Jan 1999

Below is a review of the UK Channel 4 the documentary program, Dispatches, on FEMALE on MALE DV, screened on Thursday 7 January 1999:

Source http://www.channel4.com/index.html
and use http://www.channel4.com/njs/search_indexnj.html
to search on the words "domestic violence" to find the following announcement:

Thursday 7 January 1999 UK TV Channel 4, 21:00 DISPATCHES

A six foot security guard is knocked unconscious... stabbed and beaten - by his girlfriend - who is under five foot. A weeping police officer describes how his wife tried to suffocate him with a pillow while he was sleeping.  In a specially extended Dispatches reporter DEBORAH DAVIES reveals the extraordinary results of the largest ever survey of male victims of domestic violence.  Dispatches talks to men about why they have suffered yet stayed and have no faith in the police, and to women who explain why they are violent to the partners they love.

The First Step Centre run a helpline for people experiencing domestic violence offering advice, information and counselling.

Lines are open 9am to 8pm Monday to Friday, 11am to 4.30pm on Saturday and 2pm to 5pm on Sunday. Freephone 0800 281 281.

Repeated at 1pm on Thursday 12 January 1999.

My note: Liverpool has a crisis line that will help both men and women involved in violent conflict.  Call 0151-548-3333 —WHS

Update 2009 01 30: Mankind — Runs a helpline phone number which is available to all men in the UK who are victims of domestic abuse. It is: 01823 334244. Their telephone helpline is manned by trained staff from Monday to Friday 10a.m. to 4p.m. and 7p.m. to 9p.m. (except Friday evenings)


On 7 Jan 1999 in alt.mens-rights <island@nym.alias.net> wrote:

For this documentary 100 male victims of domestic violence in the UK were surveyed.

Half of the men had suffered violence from their partners for over 5 years.

The reasons given for staying included one seldom heard from female victims; a policeman who was a DV victim said he felt he would be walking out on his children and most of the men agreed.  Men have very little chance of getting custody of their children in Britain.

British police attend 3/4 million domestic violence cases every year.  About 90% of the complainants are women.

Half the men surveyed never called the police.  Those who did got no help from the authorities.

Violent women were "far more likely" to call the police because they know how the police react to domestic violence.

One man rang the police while being attacked by his girfriend.  She tried to attack him again while the police were there.  She admitted to the police that the man had never hit her.  Yet the police told him to leave or be arrested.  They still made him go when he pointed out that it was his house.

The policeman who had been attacked once attended an incident like that where his colleague arrested the man.

In a case where the woman covered the man in bitemarks the police still removed the man, this time because it was her house.  The woman was interviewed on the documentary and said the police had told her that they should really be arresting her, but no explanation was given why they didn't arrest her.

In the cases where the police do think charges against the woman are warranted, the Crown Prosecution Service often overrules them and drops the charges.

Of the 100 battered men surveyed, only 5 abusive women were arrested and only 1 was charged.  The charges against her were later dropped.

Only 1 in 5 men said their partners had a diagnosed mental health problem.  The rest appeared normal to the men but the programme makers said that 1/3 suffered from depression - a factor not normally considered in domestic violence.

About 1/3 of the men said their partners had had miserable childhoods and some of the women interviewed said they expected violence as the natural end to a row.

1999 is the European Union year against violence towards women and Britain subscribes to this.  There is nothing about violence towards men.


On Fri, 08 Jan 1999 in alt.mens-rights haxton@scican.net (Victoria "Lee" Hirt) wrote:

On 7 Jan 1999 22:27:45 -0000, Island <island@nym.alias.net> wrote:

During a discussion a couple of months ago about male domestic violence on another newsgroup I talked to a police chief about this.  His comment was that about half of the domestic violence is female against male, but men won't report it for many of the reason this person (above) gave.  Also, men are afraid of their image being ruined.  I think this is one issue people need to be less myopic about.

Domestic violence should be seen as violence against people living in a domestic situation and any issue of the sexes be totally removed from it.

Victoria "Lee"

And from elsewhere...

From an Internet news service:

Crisis Line For Men In Big Demand After TV Ad

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A disturbing television advertisement for a New Zealand helpline service has spurred men to face their problems and seek help from members of their own sex, a counselling service director said Friday.

Auckland-based charity Lifeline and Interchurch Counselling Service launched a national television campaign on December 26 to promote one of its services, Mensline, a crisis line for men by men it has been running since 1996.

"We felt it was a good thing to do when men are having their chance to think about their relationships and have the holiday time to reflect," director Bruce Mackie told Reuters.  The advert, Lifeline's first, depicts a world as viewed by a troubled male who sees his job as hell, home as a prison, strong drinks at a bar as lunch and, shockingly, himself as a punching bag for his wife.

"The advertisement is not just about using a service, it's also an attempt to change social attitudes of men," Mackie said.

"One piece which has drawn attention is the violence men can experience in their relationships.  Men are always seen as the perpetrator or the abuser.  But we have been saying that's not true, that men are frequently the victims," he added.

"Many men are calling from all over the country saying 'that's what it's like for me and I don't know what to do about it."'

Since the advertisement, designed by local agency Colenso, went on air, the number of calls to Mensline has risen nearly fourfold.  Most are concerned about relationships and problems such as access to children, reflecting a rising number of marriage breakups, Mackie said.

Lifeline is planning to double its Mensline staff from the current 25, and all of them will be males.

Although still relatively rare, counselling services run by men for men have begun to emerge around the world in the last five to 10 years, Mackie said, as men realize they can provide help for their own sex rather than depending on women, who have traditionally provided support roles in many societies.

"Guys need to consult another guy," he said.

[Note (1999 01 12): The help-line page can be accessed at http://www.win.co.nz/menscenter/Documents_misc/mensgroups.html#Mensline  —WHS]

The information shown above was sent to Members of the Legislative Assembly in Alberta, with the following appended note:

==<quote from the previously forwarded message>==
"Although still relatively rare, counselling services run by men for men have
begun to emerge around the world in the last five to 10 years, Mackie said, as men
realize they can provide help for their own sex rather than depending on women,
who have traditionally provided support roles in many societies.

"Guys need to consult another guy," he said. "
==<end quote>==

When our youngest, Anthony, applied for a voluntary position as a peer counsellor in the junior highschool he attended in Bruderheim, Alberta, he was rejected.  For what reason?  He would have been the only boy in a girls' group!

For statistic and links pertaining to additional information on domestic violence, see Family Violence, and, specific to the topic of this message, the links under the heading "Who is at fault?" shown at that section of the index accessible at that URL.

At last count, there were 38 battered women's shelters in Alberta.  We have only one battered men's shelter.  That shelter is being run by WIN House (WIN = Women in Need). [That "shelter for men" is comprised of two beds that are made available if they aren't needed for women! —WHS, 1999 05 10]

What can be done about this injustice to our families, to men and fathers, and especially to our children who routinely lose their fathers when those are being battered by their wives?  The first step will be to give recognition to the fact that family violence is not an issue of the sexes.

Can Alberta families count on your help with respect to fathers that are being battered by their spouses?


Walter H. Schneider,
Box 62, Bruderheim, Alberta,  T0B 0S0

    Tel: (403) 796-2306
    Note: Men's suffering isn't high on the agenda of the Alberta MLAs.  As of January 31, 1999 there was only one single response to this letter.  It is quoted in the following:

Subject: Crisis Line For Men In Big Demand After TV Ad -Reply
   Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1999 19:27:41 -0700
   From: "Denis Herard" <dherard@assembly.ab.ca>
     To: < >

 thank you!  this is an interesting item that seems to confirm what most people know about he
reality of personal relationships these days!

And, in a reply to a follow-up message, Denis Herard responded:

Subject: (U.K.) Domestic Violence Against Men (TV Channel 4) -Reply
   Date: Mon, 11 Jan 1999 19:34:08 -0700
   From: "Denis Herard" <dherard@assembly.ab.ca>
     To: < >

This is an issue that needs to be studied further!

To which I replied:

Subject: Re: (U.K.) Domestic Violence Against Men (TV Channel 4) -Reply
   Date: Tue, 12 Jan 1999 12:26:07 -0800
   From: Walter Schneider < >
     To: Denis Herard <dherard@assembly.ab.ca>
     CC: Gus Sleiman <mesa@lexicom.ab.ca>

Dear Mr. Herard,

Denis Herard wrote:

> This is an issue that needs to be studied further!

Thank you for your interest in the issue of denial of the fact of the extent of female-perpetrated family violence.

No doubt, you are aware that the circumstances that were brought to light in the two items that I had sent to you are symptomatic of the state of family-violence politics in all developed nations, including the Province of Alberta.  Study of the situation is required, here and elsewhere.  However, the problem is not so much a scarcity of studies as it is the denial by society of the findings reported by objective social scientists in their studies.

More than 100 studies of the roles of the sexes in family violence were done by reputable social researchers in North America over the last three decades.  All of these studies found to varying extent that family violence is not a gender issue but rather a human failing that is gender-neutral, or that women, if anything, are slightly more likely than men to initiate family violence against their spouses.

The U.S. Bureau of Justice tells us that 41% of spousal murders that were brought to trial were committed by women.  Even in Canada, where gender-related statistics are routinely obfuscated and obscured, 25% of spousal murder victims, based on cases of spousal murder that were brought to trial, were men.  Yet, out of the many hundreds of emergency shelters in Canada no more than four are dedicated to men who are the victims of family violence.

Anyone who isn't very familiar with the extent of the anti-male bias in our society and judicial system may wonder about the emphasis on the identification of spousal murders that came to light in cases brought to trial.  Although such statistics are inherently accurate with respect to convictions, the judicial system is enormously biased against men and is not a very good source for objective statistics pertaining to actual rates of violent offences of that kind.  Just to mention one example of how such bias distorts the true incidence of spousal violence against men, Mrs. Joudrie's attempt on the life of her husband never made it into the domestic violence statistics.  The reason for that is that she was never found guilty of committing any violence against her husband.  There are many more cases like that in Canada and elsewhere.

The problem is compounded by the fact that violence by women is often violence by proxy.  When contracts are being taken out by women on the lives of their spouses and the murderer is caught, the instigator routinely goes free or gets off without a murder charge, whereas the killer, usually a man or perhaps a teenaged son or relative, goes to prison.  It is left to anyone's imagination how many murders of men were in reality killings contracted by their female spouses.  However, it is a fact that any such murders are not considered to be spousal murders when they happen and don't make it into the domestic violence statistics.

More so than at any time during human history, on account of thirty years of active and escalating propaganda against men, women are today far less likely to be considered to be capable of committing any kind of violence, all evidence to the contray.  That is reflected in statistics relating to ratios of incarceration of the sexes.

The ratio of incarceration in Canada is currently almost at 100 men for every woman, whereas in the U.S., a country with very similar moral standards, the ratio stands at 18.6 men for every woman incarcerated.  As Dr. Warren Farrell explains in his book "The Myth of Male Power," these large differences in incarceration rates for the sexes are due to pro-female bias in jurisprudence.

When individuals of either sex commit crimes of equal severity, women are far less likely to be suspected, less likely to be indicted, and less likely to be convicted.  If they are convicted, in the U.S. they receive on average a sentence that is one-third the duration of what men will receive.  In Canada, they are likely to go free on parole.

However even if they are made to serve a sentence, they are more likely to be released early on parole.  In all of Canada there are currently no more than 150 women in federal prisons.  The total capacity of our prison system is no more than 250 women!  It stretches the imagination to pretend that these large differences are due to the inherent inculpability of women, yet that is precisely what feminist gender-activists would like us to believe and accept as the truth.

Women's violence expresses itself different than that of men.  Women's violence is often directed at the defenseless or the unsuspecting, children and, as far as violence against men is concerned, the sleeping or intoxicated, which then is frequently excused by claiming that it was in self-defence.

To a large extent, the largest community of the victims of female-initiated violence, children, is invisible as far as our jurisprudence is concerned.  When children, nine times more likely to be murdered by their biological mothers than by their fathers, are being murdered by their mothers, they are often not considered to be victims of murder but rather victims of infanticide.

Originally the category of infanticide covered only the first few days after the birth of a child, to excuse women for the murder of their newly-born child when they were still in the turmoil caused by the event of giving birth.  The time-frame for infanticide became soon extended to cover the full first year of the life of any child murdered by its mother, to make allowances for "the hormonal imbalances likely to result from breast-feeding the child."  Today, infanticide is being used to excuse the murder of children far in excess of the age of one year.

When a man murders a child, he'll be sentenced for the murder of that child and invariably go to prison for a long time.  When a woman murders a child, depending on the age of the child, the murderer will be either indicted for manslaughter, as in the case of Danielle Blais who deliberately drowned her 6 1/2 year-old son and was never incarcerated although she was sentenced to two years less a day, or she may be indicted for infanticide. 

Infanticide is a category of crime that is used only when a mother commits the murder of a child. This category of crime, by law, can't be applied when fathers murder their children.  To the victim, using the sword of justice to slice definitions so finely is immaterial.  He/she will be equally and permanently dead, whether the murderer legally committed infanticide or murder, or whether he is found to be only the agent of an accidental death.  However, a mother convicted of infanticide almost invariably doesn't serve any time for her crime.

Our society condones or at least tolerates the violence by women against innocent victims.  It should therefore not surprise us that women and especially teenaged girls are becoming increasingly violent.  They are being *taught and indoctrinated* that they are empowered to commit violence with impunity.

Canadian men and women are *not* equal before the law.  Even though ostensibly Canadian laws apply equitably to all, the interpretation of those laws is entirely in the hands of the various players in Canadian jurisprudenc.  The decisions made by many workers in the judicial, social services and law enforcement systems are driven by what passes for public opinion, that what is being expressed in the feminist dominated and controlled media.

Although many others and I are trying our best to bring these circumstances to the attention of the public, the enormous anti-male bias that has become established in many sectors of public life makes any such efforts largely futile.  The total absence of funding for any such efforts and the presence in our society of feminist-inspired sentiments make it extremely difficult to publicize the truth.  I personally receive no funding from any sources, neither do any other Fathers Rights advocates that I'm aware of.  Additional studies are not very likely to change that bias but effective promotion of the truth will.

If you are concerned about these circumstances, a number of Albertans would be eager to meet with you to determine what strategies can be developed to promote the restoration of a more balanced and equitable society, one in which there is universal respect for all and in which we all cooperate toward the good of society instead of promoting entitlements for manufactured victims, a society in which families are allowed in peace to responsibly raise the next generation of responsible and productive citizens.


Walter H. Schneider
Box 62, Bruderheim, Alberta
T0B 0S0

Tel: 796-2306,  area code 403 (area code 780 as of January 25, 1998)

PS.  For additional information, refer to "Myths and Facts about
Domestic Violence" at https://fathersforlife.org/../family_violence_main_page.htm#Myths_and_Facts  and

"Child Abuse, The Respective Roles of the Genders" at chldabse.htm#FV_stats

And to which Denis Herard responded:

Subject: Re: (U.K.) Domestic Violence Against Men (TV Channel 4) -Reply -Reply
   Date: Sat, 16 Jan 1999 11:20:55 -0700
   From: "Denis Herard" <dherard@assembly.ab.ca>
     To: < >

Thank you for this further information.

Denis Herard can be reached as per the following:

    Denis Herard

    Calgary Egmont

    Legislature OfficeConstituency Office
    #513, 10800-97 Avenue#10, 8318 Fairmount Dr.
    Edmonton, ABCalgary, AB
    T5K 2B6T2H 0Y8
    Phone: (780) 422-5738Phone: (403) 640-1363
    Fax: (780) 427-1835Fax: (403) 640-2970



Out in the cold — Canada's only shelter available to battered men (other than local jails) closes due to lack of funding.

Donna Laframboise, National Post, January 27, 1999

    "There are more than 400 government-supported transition houses for women. The only shelter in Canada dedicated to men healing from marital breakups is about to close..."

    Donna Laframboise National Post Jeff Vinnick, National Post

    Elk Lake Lodge resident John McAllister in the… http://www.nationalpost.com/artslife.asp?f=990127/2218906.html

See also:

  • DVStats.org — a search engine, aggregating research that examines the impact and extent of domestic violence upon male victims. (Off-site)

    This search facility equates domestic violence to intimate partner violence between men and women in relationships.  It does not provide information on violence between homosexuals, siblings or violence against family members other than heterosexual partners and spouses, such as infanticide, child abuse or violence against elderly in families.
  • Video on violent women

2001 01 29 (format changes)